HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AS AN ADULT

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HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS

Meet a true empath and friend in need. Gemma Scopes has created her own community of friendship to fight the loneliness that so many feel in our modern society. Gemma is your go - to girl when you’re feeling loney…

Tell us about yourself where you live and what you do. What is the reason behind your idea to start a blog about how to make friends?
I grew up and live in Suffolk in England. It is a small county with lots of countryside, beautiful coastal towns and quirky places to visit. I grew up always preferring the thought of city life, but I have grown to love the countryside and enjoy having the best of both worlds with London an hour away.

How to make friends all blossomed from an idea to start my own friend project. Last year I got to a point where I really needed to make new friends. All of my closest friends had recently got married and had babies and I'm not at that stage in my life. Their priorities changed, they had little time for friends and it left me feeling really lonely. I still loved those friends but I wanted to meet other like-minded creative women to have fun with. I initially had an idea to start a personal friend project and document it all on a blog. As I started my friend project; the more I talked about it with women, the more I realised that loneliness is everywhere and everyone wants to make new friends. Women of all ages, circumstances and lifestyles were feeling lonely and I wanted to do something about it.

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What makes a good and healthy friendship?
A good and healthy friendship should be based on mutual effort, friendships are a two-way street. Sometimes life events mean that one friend naturally has to put in more effort than the other. This can be to offer support, help or guidance, but this effort should always become balanced again. It’s easy to remain friends out of convenience, duration of friendship or habit, but if you find yourself being the only one putting effort into a friendship, it is time to consider putting that energy to better use in a real and rewarding friendship.

What possibilities/ problems do you see in adult friendships? And how do they differ from friendships among children/ teenagers?
Adults and teenagers carry a fear of rejection. They worry about all the things that could go wrong whereas children live much more in the moment. This fear holds adults back from meeting new people, stepping out of their comfort zone and asking for friendship. I constantly hear people commenting on how making friends as an adult is hard, but it really isn’t. By saying it’s hard, is an excuse to put it off or a cover-up if things don’t go as well as planned. Making friends takes practice, confidence and a positive mindset. No one is coming to save you, you have to do it for yourself. 

What would you say to the people that have a difficult time finding friends/ relationships to rely on or create good base of a satisfying friendship/relationship?
Friendship starts with you. The first place to start is learning to be your own best friend. If you can do that, making friends will become easy and you will never fear feeling rejected or disappointed. Your vibe really does attract your tribe. As soon as you figure out who you are and what makes you happy, other people will naturally be wanting in on the happy vibes that you give off.

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What do you see being the most problematic/ troublesome thing with friendships?
Priorities are the biggest problem and can be easily fixed. Throughout life people’s priorities constantly change which is a natural progression. The important bit is that friendship is viewed as a ‘luxury’ whereas it is should be seen as a fundamental human need for wellbeing. When life gets busy, friendships are the first thing to suffer because of a lack of time, but this will quickly lead to unhappiness. I’m here to shout about the importance of friendships and that you should always invest time and energy into them.

How long have you had your blog and what feedback have you received?
I launched the blog at the end of October last year and the feedback has been amazing. I have since been featured in newspapers, magazines, on the radio and earlier this year won a UK Blog Award. It has all been like living a big dream and I have loved every second. I receive daily messages from women and men all over the world sharing stories of how the blog has helped them and it honestly makes my heart burst. I love hearing how the blog has allowed readers to deal with loneliness, encouraged them to remove toxic people from their lives and how they have made encouraging and supportive friends.

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What matters to you or gives you a purpose?

As an empath, I have a big heart and natural abilities in speaking, teaching and healing. Happiness for me is found in helping others. As soon as I started the blog I realised I had found my passion. My purpose in life is to cure loneliness and spread the word that everyone experiences feelings of loneliness and it is ok. I love every part of How to make friends and can’t imagine doing anything else. I love being a cheerleader for people to achieve their friendship goals and to live a much happier and fulfilled life because of it.

Story of Gemma Scopes

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